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Śrī Dīp Nārāyaṇa Bhagavān, Śrī Mādhavānanda Holī Gurujī Śrī Sattva Gurudevam, Viśvagurujī Paramahaṁsa Maheśvarānanda Gurudevam, Oṁ Śrī Alakhpurīṣa Mahādevam, Śrī Śrīdeveśvara Mahādevam. Holi Śrī Dīp Nārāyaṇa Bhagavān Kī Jai, Śrī Śrī Devpurījī Mahādeva Kī Jai. Avale! Śrī Dīp Nārāyaṇ Bhagavān Kī Jai! Śrī Śrī Devpurījī Mahādeva Kī Jai! Welcome, Viśvagurujī. Welcome, Svāmī Jñāneśvarī, Jñāneśvar Purī. Welcome, all Svāmīs. And welcome, all dear yoga friends, yoga brothers and sisters, here in the Netherlands. We are very happy that you are all here, and we are looking forward to having a nice program all together with Viśvagurujī. Tonight we have satsaṅg. Tomorrow we have a whole program. In the morning we will have prayer in Oostein, in the farmhouse. After that, you can have your own sādhanā here in this venue from 7 till 8. Then from 8 till 9, we will have breakfast. After breakfast, at 10, we will have a lecture and singing bhajans, satsaṅg with Viśvagurujī. After that, we have lunch, then we will have an afternoon program with Yoganidrā and āsanas, prāṇāyāma. At 5, we will have dinner, and after dinner at 7, we will have satsaṅg again here. And then on Monday morning we will also have satsaṅg at 10 o’clock, and that will be in Oostein in the farmhouse again. So that’s a little bit about the program, and we hope you will enjoy your stay here with us. We’re looking forward to this time together with Viśvagurujī. Dear friends, my life before Swāmījī was pure hell. Maybe you remember your life before Swāmījī. But there was one thing I was searching for, and that is real love, not this on the surface. To be accepted, to feel at home. And all that which I experienced when I was searching was only beating me in the right direction. One cannot say, or maybe one should say, if you have pain, it is good, because you will be pushed to your aim. Maybe you don’t even know the aim, but you are searching and searching and searching. And so I came to one point when I thought, either now I die or something will change. And I was an atheist at that time. In my childhood, I said, "God, you don’t fulfill my wish, no. I will not pray anymore to you, and you are gone from me." And so I became an atheist, and I was falling into all the traps which one can fall into. But when I came to the point that it would not help, what I did was I said, "Okay, now I must pray again." And I prayed for maybe eight hours. I cried, and I had such a big experience. I cannot describe this. But in that moment, all doors opened and everything came to me. He gave me books, gave me inspiration, gave me everything. Then, in my company where I was working, there was one man. He said, "Now you read this book, but I cannot borrow it; you must buy it yourself." And I said, "Okay, what is it?" "Yes, it is life-changing, you must read." And I said, okay, I will buy. The next day, I went into a bookshop and bought this book. And maybe most of you know this book, Autobiography of a Yogī by Paramahaṁsa Yogānanda. I was reading, I was reading hours and hours, and I said, "I cannot go to work anymore, I must read it to the end. I must go to the doctor to read to the end." And so I went to the doctor, and he said, "Okay, three days." I was reading day and night, and at the end I said, "I must get this guru." But from where? How can I get it? How? How? I cannot go into the jungle in India. I will not find it. Then I phoned one friend who was living many years in India, and I said to him, "How can I get a guru like this one? I want mokṣa, I want mokṣa, I don’t want to be reborn again, please tell me how." And he said, "Very cool, don’t worry. He already knows that you are searching for him. He will catch you." This was really amazing, because after three days, I said, "But in Hamburg, how?" How did he come to Hamburg? He was already there, but I didn’t know. Then, in the night, it was 12 o’clock, I was reading one small booklet, which was writing about every yoga class and everything. And I thought, "Yeah, but Kriya Yoga, this I must find. Kriya Yoga, this will finish all lives at once. How to get it?" And at 12 o’clock, I read this one line: Bhakti Yoga, Rāja Yoga, Karma Yoga, Kriyā Yoga. I shouted; I was living with one girl in one flat. Hey, can you imagine? It is here, Kriya Yoga in Hamburg. Oh God! But I cannot phone now. It’s 12 o’clock. It’s very late. So, next morning, 8 o’clock, I couldn’t wait till 8 o’clock, but at 8 o’clock, I found this number. It was really that one number. Maybe you know Herma. Herma’s number. And she said, "Yes, good morning, hello." And I said, "Can I come for Kriya Yoga? I need to make it, I need it immediately." She said, "You cannot imagine how crazy I was, but it was like I’m going under the water, I need something." And she said, "Yes, yes, you can come this afternoon at five o’clock." I went there, and she opened the door, and I, in the background, saw something in orange. And I said, "Oh my God, orange! Now I’m caught, now I’m in the sect." Oh God! Okay, the whole world is listening, but you see, all of us, we are still alive. And we are not caught, because how can you catch something which is so big, bigger than the cosmos? So I entered, and my life, my divine life, started. I went immediately on Monday. It was Saturday morning. I immediately went on Monday to the yoga class, and I said, "When will I get Kriya Yoga, Kriya Yoga? Where is my master? Where?" But there was not the master. Oh God, oh God. And I said, "Okay, I must practice more, more, more." And I practiced and I practiced, crazy, and then finally they said it was, it happened in March, in March ’88, 1988, and they said, "Yes, yes, the master will come to the summer seminar in Austria." And I said, "Oh God, I must go there, but my master, when, if this is my master, I must prepare. How to prepare?" So I got another book, and maybe this you... Also, know it’s from Irina Tweedie, "The Phoenix Out of Ashes." It’s such a big book. She was writing a diary about how she met her master, and I was reading this and I was thinking, "My God, is she crazy? How can she behave to the master like that?" and all. The time I was criticizing her, and I said, "I would make it like this, and this, and... this." Even I did not know, but I was criticizing her all the time. Then we went there, and at that time we had to take the train for twelve hours, and it was a really tough journey. But then we got rooms, and I was put in the room with one. I was thinking, "Oh, how will I meet my master?" And while I was pecking and sitting and thinking, they came and said, "No, go out. This is not your room." And I said, "What? This is not my room?" What is this? And they put me in another room. And I said, "Oh, my God, what organizers!" I was only criticizing, you know. I was here, something. And again, I put all my things, sitting there and saying, "Okay, how will I meet my master? How will it be? I should wash his feet. I should give him a flower garland. I should pray to him. I should, oh my God." In this mood, I went to the toilet and was thinking, ah, how will it happen? And then, not the door of the toilet, but the door of the room opened, and I was thinking, oh my God, many people went in, and I said, oh, how crazy, they want to pull me out again, or what? And I was full of anger, and I wanted to have my peace. Even on the toilet I have no peace, and I opened the door, full power, and who was standing there? My master! Oh my, and he was looking in my eyes, and I was looking in his eyes like laser to laser, and I could not say, I was paralyzed. And he just went out, and I was so shocked, shocked... oh my god, on the toilet. And I sat down and said, "Oh god, no, this cannot be, this cannot be. I must go to my organizer to say, please, please bring me to my guru. I must say, forgive me, please forgive me." And at that time, I found my organizer, and he said, "Please help me, I must, my master, please bring me to him." And he said, "Yeah, but he is walking in the garden, go there." Please help me, bring me to him. Yes, okay. We both went to him, and Swāmījī was alone there, walking. Then he said, "So stupid, this boy said so stupid, dear master. This is Saṅkītā, I mean Brigitta at that time." And I said, I could not speak. I could not say anything. I was thinking, "Crazy, this is not what I want." And I went away. It was terrible. It was again terrible, but more terrible than before. Please, you laugh, but this, now comes the point, now comes the point, the real point. It was afternoon, I was thinking, how can I make it, how can I make it? I must meet Swamiji in full devotion, but not like this, crazy. Again, I went to my organizer. And I said, "Please, maybe I’m stupid, maybe I’m crazy, but please. Please, please bring me to Swāmījī. Are you mad? No, I will not do it." And I said, but I must, I must. We went to the fourth floor. Swamiji’s room was exactly four floors above mine, and I said, "Okay." And then this boy opened the door. Swamiji was sitting on his bed, and two disciples were sitting at the end, near his feet. And I was thinking, hey, why are they there? What are they doing there? Why can I not be alone with him? And I did not know that if he is sitting, that I have to sit on my knees. I did not know, and this boy pulled me to the knees, and I said, "Okay." And I looked to Swamiji, then it happened. What is, is indescribable what he did. Of course, he is the master. He is doing everything. He is testing you a thousand million times to see what you really want. Do you want sugar, or do you want mokṣa? Mokṣa is bitter. It is not sugar. Sugar comes after mokṣa. Yes, before comes all crazy things which we all have, but then this is what I was searching my whole life. What he did, he took my hand and put it on his heart. He took me in his heart. This he did with everybody, otherwise we wouldn’t sit here. He took me in his heart, and not... This action, what he was transmitting with this action in my heart, in my heart, in my longing, in my feeling, in my searching. Swamiji, this is the master, this is what he is doing with us. He gives us everything we are searching for. And whenever I remember, I have never ever told anybody this before. Good. Very good. When someone comes, and then it is said, some birds come, some. And then he was going slowly, slowly, and sat there, and tried to go into the earth. It means that four sometimes, and then going around. Another one is there, he comes and sees very nicely, like this, and again very quickly runs away. So he sees, he likes, looking left, left, right, but suddenly he will go away. That is not my life. And the third time, there’s one animal, something like this, and then he was standing, looking up, looking up. And then these birds, or whatever it is, come and come with us, and yes. And then he had some under the bread here. And there she was, something made already. And she took him inside and closed the door. But he had such feelings and was so happy. And he said, "What can I do? Something more." And so he was sitting there. It took time. He was inside, and when he came out, he came like, not involved like this one, but like he had a God, like this. So, everyone, how are they coming, and what did she say? How many things did he say? So, when we all come like that, in whole countries, you know, how many, how many years? Mahāprabhujī’s Karatā, Mahāprabhujī’s Karatā. And fourth and fifth had come, my disciples. All the times like this, and that is then gone, like an aeroplane. An aeroplane is coming slowly, slowly, like this, and then, how is taking aeroplane? That is straight like this, and straight like this. It means it will come, and how? Where? With the... He has, without his eyes, he knows where it will come, and then he is coming and coming down. Then he said, "Yes, I took off, went forward, and when I knew that I would lie down, then exactly it would come on that point." Slowly coming and stopping, and stopping, and like this, on the real point it comes like that. Then, what is there? All the people who were in the airplane saw this and now go out. And if there is someone, aeroplanes fall down like this. For why, sometimes, then, is it gone, both aeroplanes and... So, now that you are all here, you have such good things, very great sweets, and you should also please, please, and please, you should come down from the airplanes. And why is he going? He is going like this, and not from the front. He is standing. He is coming from down and sitting down. And so, I think you all are with me. I hope that you will come, you will go up, I very much hope, and you will come to work for everyone, for good, for peace. And we all come together like this. So, all disciples, but it cannot be. It is not; it is on that way until we come into our heart. And now we said, "I am very old, and I think I will die sometimes." At that side, it is coming into your heart, and then you become gold. And that is, gold is not too much. There are other things. And so, you all sitting here, you have to—you are doing very good. But I tell you, be help, and don’t give out. It will come, it will come, or it will break. This is like that, so I also can be. I am still, I can see everything. Maybe I said, "Ah, now I’m... my Gurujī is in this and white." Now I don’t go; I’m gone. I will break it all, everything. So, it will come then, until that, yes. Now my life, it is at an end. That side, then it will come. Like an aeroplane is coming, not like this, hiding. It’s going like this and like that. Then you are, then you, that time you must say, "Swāmījī, Maheśvara Nandānandajī, Maheśvara Nandānand, this is now my, I’m lying down, but not like this." But the aeroplane is coming and going like this, and writing down, not like this, but also like this. So then you should know, still you are not like that, still. Yes, and yes, and yes. Let it go nicely, as you like. Go. But you will go down, down... but then it will again go like this and sit there like this. So you are all very young, and your time is very, some are different, old persons here maybe also, but this is in your, so what she has taught us is very nice. She was doing very nicely. So, you know how her heart, she took it in him like this, and that it has become like this. Namo.